i think i feel how a mexican back home would feel.  i’m not a citizen.  i have survival language skills (although getting much better), i have no drivers license and to add…i have no health insurance. 

no drivers license, i can handle.  it takes me back to the good old new york days when i was busing and subing it the entire time.  but health insurance is something i don’t think i can do without.  just this past weekend i got hit really hard in the chest playing basketball.  the thing is….that it still hurts 5 days later.  probably even more so now.  i should probably go check it out.  it doesn’t hurt until i hold down on it or breathe really hard.  in fact, i’ve been working out all week with it, including my morning hikes.

i have a problem with going to the hospital.  i don’t know what it is.  in high school, i was clipped from behind in a football game.  i had no idea i was hurt.  in fact, i managed to finish the entire game without knowing.  it wasn’t until the next day i realized something was wrong.  that was until i was in pain and started pissing out blood.  no really…i was pissing blood.  according to the doctors, i had a contusion, where my liver was internally bleeding.  sounds sick huh?  it was!

also a couple years ago, i did something dumb, but quite chivalrous.  i socked a guy in the face for disrespecting a lady.  i got him pretty good, but it was one of those punches where i it looked good, but it hurt my hand more than it did him.  again, i had no idea anything was wrong with me.  this time i went a week thinking my hand was just bruised.  it wasn’t until someone forced me to go to the hospital to get it checked out.  sure enough after the x-rays, i broke my hand. 

am i just a beast of burden?  how is it i have no clue that i’m hurt.  i guess i just endure more.  in this case, i don’t think its a good thing.  i think i’ll wait a couple more days to see if i’m ok.  if not, then i will force myself this time to see a doctor.